Structures of Oppression

I drove past Gyeongbok Palace with my dad a while back and a thought that never really occurred before hit me all the sudden. Me being somewhat of a history nerd, wondered what the palace would look like today if the Japanese Government-General of Chosun building was still standing, and why it isn't.

For those who don't know, the Government General Chosun building (조선총독부 청사) was used by the Japanese during the occupation as their headquarters for oppressing Korea. It was where they made decisions to better shit on the Koreans. It didn't help that it also sat right within the walls of Gyeongbok Palace to both symbolically and literally stomp on Korea's national autonomy. Understandably, Koreans saw this building as a symbol of Japanese oppression.

From the sky, one could see the building was shaped into the Chinese character for sun (日), which stands for Japan. So yeah, Koreans were pissed off about that.

During Kim Youngsam's presidency, the building was demolished as to close that dark chapter of Korean history. I was a kid during that time but I do remember there was some debate over whether it should be done or not. Some people obviously saw it as a symbol of oppression while others saw it as an important reminder of history.

According to the wiki article on the building, it has had a lot of historical significance after World War Two. It is where American forces accepted the surrender of Japanese forces in Korea. Syngman Rhee was sworn in on its steps. The Korean wiki also says that DPRK forces during the Korean War used it as their administrative HQ. The ROK government later used it for its National Assembly and later as a museum.

Japanese General Government Building. Source

More pictures of the building during the Occupation and it's demolition in 1995.

Nevertheless, the demolition proponents won and the building was destroyed. Perhaps people couldn't bear to have such a painful reminder staring at them in the face from one of the greatest historical monuments of Korea's great dynasties. But that made me think, is the palace really that great?

We destroyed a historical reminder, even perhaps a monument, because it was made by our oppressors. I obviously haven't lived during the time, but I can't imagine living under a Chosun monarch would be so much better for the average Korean. It was a society with slaves and a class system where one could be shitted on simply for being low born. The government at the time had institutionalized forced labor as a form of taxation. These great palaces we admire today were built on the backs of poor peasants who were forced into labor. These same peasants were also forced to into military service when their country needed them to die, which by the way, is the same thing the Japanese did during the occupation.

One may say, that's how it was back then. If we are so willing to forgive our ancestors for shitting on our ancestors, why aren't we granting the Japanese the same generosity? Can I say, "That's just how it was back then" to shrug off Japanese and Nazi atrocities?

So I have to ask, what's the difference? Why are we visiting these wonderful palaces symbolizing oppression but had to tear down another building because it symbolized oppression? The only difference I can think of (from a Korean perspective) is that one is made by "Koreans" and the other was foreign. Worse, it was Japanese. I can't think of a logical argument for celebrating buildings made on the whims of kings while demonizing another for not being Korean.

I'm not arguing that these palaces be torn down. I'm just pondering the hypocrisy of it. When I see these palaces, I think of all the sweaty, hungry peasants who were forced to work their asses off to build them. As someone who appreciates history, I admit I like looking at them, but I would've enjoyed walking around the General Government building as well.

I talked to my dad about these thoughts on the drive and he disagreed with me, but he couldn't give me an answer why.

Individuality and Korean sense of Community

When comparing themselves to what they perceive as Western culture, many Koreans I've met pride themselves and Korea as being a more "communal" society. They see western cultures and Americans as being individualistic and selfish, and not very good at being team players.

It's one of the common questions/comments I get from Koreans regarding my time in the United States along with "What are black people like?" I have quickly learned that when somebody asks this kind of question, they're not really probing you for information, they're expecting you to give you an answer they want to hear. They want to affirm what they already think (this is a trait I've noticed with a lot of Koreans but that's another story). It's like when Koreans ask a foreigner if the food isn't too spicy, they want to hear that it is in fact too spicy so they can nod to themselves after affirming that Korean food is indeed too spicy for foreigners.

The word "individualism" (개인주의) here is actually attached with negative connotations. People mistake it for being selfish and only concerned about oneself at the expense everybody around you. You'll often hear it being used to describe people who don't follow the rules and are inconsiderate. Most recently, I heard in school to describe students who don't really like to socialize in groups and prefer to do their own thing. While that's certainly a level above being selfish, I see it as an incorrect usage of the word. Basically, when somebody asks me about American individualism, they just want to affirm their preconceived prejudice of Americans being selfish.

Individualism is a philosophical stance that sees the individual as...well, an individual and tries to distance itself from more destructive collectivism. True individualists respect other people as individuals and realize that their needs and rights are also valid. This is lost in societies like Korea where the "group" or community comes first.

I find Koreans to be extremely selfish. Sure you can say a lot of Americans are also selfish and many of the younger generation grow up with a sense of entitlement, but it's the way Koreans are selfish that is strikingly different to me. Selfish Americans are selfish in the sense that it's more predictable. They want to get their's without sacrificing anything. It's easier to pick out the selfish Americans because it's there on the surface. Koreans are selfish in a more general sense: it's a common trait permeated throughout society. But it's also less on the surface because Koreans pretend they're not being selfish. It's the explanation I can come with it to explain why so many people push others out of the way, park their cars in front of entrances, throw garbage on the street, and run red-lights and drive on sidewalks at the risk of hitting pedestrians so they can save a few seconds of their precious time. Unlike self-entitled Americans who will bitch and demand what they want, Koreans will take what they can get within the hazily accepted lines in their society.

Within a group dynamic, Koreans can be very giving. Koreans are renown for their kindness to people they know, but if they don't know you, you're barely a person. I think this is because of a "sense of community" that's imposed rather than voluntary and organic. If you're not part of my group, then screw you. Your needs are nothing and I will push you out of the way like an object so I get somewhere two seconds faster. When in a group, however, there is constant pressure to be a participant of the group. Food has to be shared, there just has to be a game to decide someone who'll buy ice-cream or drinks for everybody, you can't leave a party yourself and everybody is just cool with it, you're pressured to stay at work late if everybody else is, you're expected to share food with the whole office if you bring some in, etc. It's bad form to do only the task that's assigned to you, everybody has to do everything, and all the pains and joys of life has to be shared.

I would have no problem with this if it was voluntary, but usually it is not. Plus, it's all a show. These "sacrifices" for the group has very little to do with a genuine concern for other members. It's about saving face and securing one's position in the group. It also has to do with what one will get in return. After being in constant pressure to conform and do things for the group, you expect to get something in return. It also means you'll want to get whats yours when you have the opportunity.

This is especially true in the Army. Most people probably think the Army of all places is the one organization that instills the value of teamwork and community. In fact, soldiers I worked with were the some of the most selfish people I've met. I can't say I blame them though. When concepts like teamwork and community are forced on to a bunch of strangers, it doesn't always yield the most tight-knit group in the world. You're always expected to go out of your way to help out and take part in work others are doing. Yet, doing so provides no real benefit other than somebody higher than won't chew you out. You're not getting paid more. So people tend to look for opportunities to slack off and not do something they don't need to do.

Squads, platoons, departments, etc constantly bicker over who has to do what because its always a contest about who has less work dumped on them. This also creates resentment. If your unit is assigned some kind of detail and you can't take part because of some reason, others will resent you no matter how legitimate your reason is. You'll get icy glares if you missed out on some trench digging because of some sickness. You weren't being part of the group so you suck.

The high-context aspect of Korean culture plays into this problem as well. People tend to assume things like information and cultural traits are shared within the community or culture. This becomes problematic when people barely know automatically assume you know what they are talking about because you part of the group. I've experienced at jobs where a company outing or project is never officially announced but everybody in the office is expected to know somehow. Most Koreans utilize "눈치" to get the message but some people like me, are really bad at it. Maybe it's the Americanization talking, but I prefer somebody to directly tell me what's going on than me having to obtain information via over-hearing others talking or listening to rumors. Amusingly enough, it was the same in the military. I've had senior conscripts tell juniors to grab some sort of equipment "over there" without really specifying where. You'd see these guys frantically search for this thing but be afraid to ask and risk being reprimanded for not paying attention. New guys were also expected to know rules and protocols after a while but nobody would directly teach them. People are expected to "just know" things by experience and this applies to both military and civilian groups.

These sorts of things may be cultural and it may be considered bigoted to judge these tendencies as being "bad," in organizations that strive for effectiveness (like the military units and corporations), I can't help but think being vague is bad. Imagine a soldier in a battle field being told to fetch more ammo that's "over there somewhere."

So yeah, when Koreans talk about how communal they are and how they don't think about others first unlike those selfish Westerners, I like to disagree.

In Defense of Hazing

I've made long winded entries (Hazing part 1 and part 2) on how hazing works and in what forms it manifests itself. You might have guessed I am no advocate of it but in an ironic twist, I will try to "justify" or "defend" the perpetrators of hazing in this entry. I am not saying people who practice their misguided and archaic methods of discipline are right, I'm saying there's a reason for what they do and it isn't always entirely their fault.

People need to remember that treating subordinates in a less than desirable fashion (often like shit), and employing anger, insults and even violence as a method of enforcing discipline have been traditionally very common practices in Korea. Though things may have changed a lot now, people in my generation and even younger have been subject to violence from teachers and parents throughout our entire lives. I was beaten and insulted on a regular basis as a student in Korea, both by teachers and upperclassmen. As an elementary school student, I've seen my peers literally get tossed across the room and tripped by teachers. Later in middle school, getting smacked across the face with a textbook was a thing, as was getting ganged up and stomped by older students in the same school. I also remember getting hit and yelled at by adult strangers for what they saw as poor behavior in public. This may be a case of memory bias but I wasn't getting hit for stealing or punching a handicapped kid; I remember getting attacked by a stranger for being too loud on the bus. This is the type of society I and many other Koreans grew up in. You can discipline a member of your society lower than you on the hierarchy tree and utilize savage techniques to do so. No one would bat an eye.

Things have changed quite a bit since then. I'm not knowledgeable enough to even begin to describe why these changes have come about, but I according to people I talk to and the media, corporal punishment is rarely, if ever, employed by faculty members now. At least in Seoul. The big thing nowadays is school violence among students but I'm willing to bet that media sensationalism is over blowing this social issue as always. Where were these concerned journalists and parents when kids were getting belted and smacked by teachers simply for talking funny back in my day? I'm not even that old. "My day" was only a decade ago. Funny how things change.

Anyway, I digress. Things change. In schools, in society, and even the military. These cuddly new attitudes on discipline seep into the military as new generations get conscripted, and guess what? They clash with existing attitudes and ideas. Older guys don't understand why cussing at a subordinate isn't allowed anymore, much less beating him. It's really because some guys snap and off themselves or others. Some call their mothers and tell them about all the horrible things they are subject to. The media gets a hold of these stories, the military gets flak and people get angry. More importantly, voters get angry. Politicians bitch at the commanders and the shit rolls down hill. Guys are told to stop hitting juniors and conscripts in general are restricted in how much they are allowed to talk about their lives in the military. Because it's not really about stopping hazing, it's about protecting careers.

Nobody cares about hazing in itself. What people care about is that hazing is the leading cause of suicide and desertion, and the following media backlash can affect careers. If nobody killed themselves, nobody would give a shit.

I could go on a lot more about the bureaucratic mess of it all but this is about why it exists. I'm just going to add that in a way, we really need to thank the crazies who snapped and mowed down their unit members. These incidents, and the public condemnation they received, really drove the military brass and politicians to get off their asses and enact change. Even a couple years before my entry, I've heard a lot of stories of violence and even sexual hazing. But the shootings and suicides changed that.

Despite the changes, hazing still exists. In some (I'd wager most) units more tame forms of it are common while in others, more "traditional" versions of it still persist. This article by Kyunghyang Shinmun is the most recent information I could get on military hazing. The title says violence in the military has increased two-fold in seven years according to a survey conducted mostly on active-duty conscripts on leave. The chart they posted as evidence doesn't make it seem that bad though. The chart says 17.7% of respondents witnessed violence but 52.7% of them feigned ignorance. 12.5% say they were the victims of violence.

I would personally consider other factors for the increase. I have a hard time believing things are really worse than the good old days of regular beatings (oftentimes endorsed or conducted by military leadership themselves). The newer generation of conscripts are probably more vocal about their negative experiences and demanding of change compared to previous generations, which I think is a trait more prevalent among younger Koreans in general. These guys were probably a lot less afraid of being frank since they were on leave as well. Also, these younger guys are also more spoiled and softer than previous generations. After being accustomed to be being cuddled for so long, any negative experience is going to be shocking. As I expanded on my previous entry, it should also be noted that there really is no clear definition of hazing. What one considers playful teasing could be perceived as being invasive and hurtful to another. How many of these incidents of violence were intended to be playful by the perpetrator and how many of them were truly hostile and damaging? Cognitive bias should also come into play here as the particular situation and victim's opinion of the perpetrator could influence how the incident is remembered. Hell, I knew a guy who got in trouble not because what he did was really damaging (he cussed a lot), but because he was just really annoying and guys were sick of him.

With that in mind, it is probably difficult for a lot of guys, in particular guys from lower socioeconomic back grounds, to get rid of old habits or to comprehend why they can't shit on a subordinate when it's been happened to them their whole lives. To some it's simply unfair. It's their chance to "get back" at all the shit they've taken and now it's not allowed. If one is convicted of things such as violence or foul language, punishment is presented in the form of restricted leave, demotion, prison, and in some cases, unit transfer.

Other than the threat of punishment, the military also attempts to educate us on these matters but I found them to be extremely lacking. Once in awhile, we have mandatory viewings of "educational" videos basically telling us how to be good soldiers and that hazing is bad. That's really it other than the commander assembling the entire unit and screaming. There's your grand hazing prevention policy. It works in a way. The threat of being caught and being sent to prison is enough for many to either cease their transgressions or tone it down. Not all. It'll be like trying to reduce crime by enacting harsher sentences. Sure it would probably work to some degree but there are much more complicated social issues that need to be addressed. Hazing is no different. I think one of the biggest factors in decreased or less harsh hazing is simply the influx of newer generations and newer attitudes. It has less to do with anything the military actively has tried to do.

I would liked to have seen more proactive attempts. Poor education and training is a big factor in hazing's persistence in my opinion, and a real issue in all aspects of the ROK military's effectiveness. There is no real leadership training courses for conscripts. No real education or training in dealing with discipline and relationships with subordinates. I was a squad leader and I got one lazily constructed week of squad leader training. Same educational principles here: watch a few propaganda videos, attend a few lectures, and you're ready to lead a squad! You think a twenty-something year old with a year of military experience is going to master the art of discipline after a week of lectures, much less be ready to lead troops into battle? By the way, you can't fail the course either so if you're not concerned with getting points and earning leave, you can doze off the entire time. Some guys don't even enroll in the training course but are given the leadership position.

We are told to be "gentle" and use words of encouragement to discipline our men. Simply being told to alter to one's behavior isn't always effective. Habits are hard to break. Beliefs and traits instilled through out the years by one's environment isn't going to change that easily.

Yet simultaneously, there's an extremely heavy demand for discipline by the brass. Lower ranking officers, NCOs, and conscripts are constantly harassed for better discipline. Conscripts get yelled at, lectured, and have our free-time infringed when our discipline is poor. Seemingly insignificant things like the proper positioning of your belt buckle or how straight you wear your hat are a big deal. If a lower ranking private is caught with poor discipline, his seniors are the ones who get reprimanded for not properly teaching the guy. The problem here become clear. Young guys, with little to no true leadership training, are pressured to disciplined their troops and resort to the methods they've been exposed to their entire lives despite warnings from above not to do so.

Let me give you an example. Let's say you're a squad leader and during a training exercise, you have a few rookies who keep forgetting to keep their helmets on at all times. You remind them continuously but due to confusion, not having developed that habit yet, or simple stupidity, they keep forgetting. Then a few officers pass by see that your men aren't disciplined! They reprimand you, or other seniors in your squad. They yell at you that your lack of leadership is undermining the safety of your squad. But it doesn't end their, word gets to your commander and what's he going to think of you and your squad now? The unit commander will undoubtedly have a "talk" about this issue with your platoon leader who will undoubtedly pressure you even more to keep your men disciplined. If officers of other units or higher in the division witness this, this could affect your CO's standing within their eyes. Your officers also have an image in manage. That is their "face" and we all know how important that is Korean culture. So you get shit from your platoon leader, your company commander, and maybe even battalion commander. Other NCOs and officers will chide and criticize you. You get frustrated at your rookies' inability to adjust in a timely manner. Although you really wanted to be the "nice" senior, desperation hits and you end up cussing at them. Maybe you hit them or shun them socially. You may resent your guys for causing you so much grief.

Senior conscripts also have the added burden of teaching new juniors on how to do their jobs. Except for highly specialized occupations such as driving, most conscripts receive no formal job training for their MOS. The skills required are handed-down by senior conscripts. When you first enter the military, you are taught as you go along instead of going through an official training course that specifically deals with your specialty. You can imagine how ineffective this can be since some seniors will tend to forget certain things, are bad at their jobs themselves or are just bad at teaching. It boggles my mind that I was allowed to handle sensitive military intelligence without any sort of training or even a simple briefing on protocol. I sort of picked up on the dos and don'ts as I went along and got yelled at a lot. When a rookie mucks up because he doesn't know what he's doing, his senior is going to get chewed out by officers and in turn the the senior is going to return the favor on the junior.

The brass expect impeccable discipline and performance yet demand no feelings to be hurt in the process. It's a tall order for a bunch of 20 year-olds with no real training on the matter. Guys technically aren't allowed to hit, insult, yell or even hurt feelings. Words of encouragement can only go so far. What other recourse is there when that doesn't work? The proper way of going about it is reporting to the higher ups but as I have outlined this before, there is a general mistrust of the professional ranks among conscripts. Many times officers and NCOs don't do shit or their ideas of reform only end up making things worse. For example, in an attempt to prevent religious oppression of junior conscripts, COs made everybody go to religious service, effectively infringing on the religious rights of everybody not Christian or Buddhist. Many of their solutions to these things are knee-jerk reactions that look for short-term results. In some cases the officers will blame you for being a weak leader who can't even control his own men.

Another example is the military's move to compartmentalize ranks by room. The military is supposedly having soldiers of the same rank share a room so there is less hazing and abuse of power. They don't want sergeants lying around watching TV while the privates are cleaning the room. Anybody who's been in the ROK military would know this is extremely unrealistic as there is no way a unit can maintain an equal ratio of ranks. Guys get discharged (sometimes unexpectedly due to injury) or transferred. Sometimes the unit composition changes they may end up having more new privates than expected. Sometimes guys get early or postponed promotions. Sometimes a platoon will have a one private. There's no way that one private is going to get a room all by himself. Plus seniority in the ROK isn't dictated by rank anyway; it's by your date of entry. Senior privates will still share the room with lower privates. Also, what's to stop the sergeants or corporals from going over to the privates' rooms and telling them to clean up all the rooms? Due to the impracticality of this policy, I suspect it won't be applied across the board but rather, the article I linked is likely an announcement by the military to show the public that they are trying something to curb hazing. Many of these "solutions" to hazing are merely political gestures to abate public criticism and take no consideration to what conscripts actually go through. How would they know anyway. Most of these generals and high-ranking officers have never lived as a private.

There are some guys, conscripts and officers alike, who are natural leaders. They command respect and inspire obedience through their personality. They're the type of guys who you don't want to disobey because for some reason you don't want to disappoint them, not because you're afraid of their wrath. Some guys you trust with their command because they're just badass. But these guys are rare. I've only met a few in my lifetime, much less in the two years of military service. The military needs to try to educate and grow such leaders instead of expecting everybody to be gifted in this area.

So what do you do if you aren't a gifted leader who can inspire genuine comradeship and discipline, and you lack inter-personal skills? How do you deal with a stubborn or stupid junior who won't follow orders and ends up making you, your unit and CO look like clowns, or worse, undermines the effectiveness and safety of your unit? Talking to the junior doesn't work, you're obviously not allowed to use harsher methods and you are afraid of going to your commander because he's an asshole and has a history of making bad decisions because he's a shitty leader himself. All the while you're receiving pressure from above to deal with it in a timely manner. What do you do? Many times senior conscripts (and officers) will find themselves between a rock and a hard place when it comes to disciplining subordinates.

Of course there are guys who haze and abuse their juniors because they are genuine assholes. Some guys are insecure dicks who use military service as their one chance in life to act like a tough guy without retribution. When else are they going to be able to order other adults around and be all "alpha?" There's also the guys who resist the change toward leniency because they hold a grudge on the shit they've been through in the past and have a need to still "get their's." They immaturely resent the newer conscripts who have it easier than they have.

The problem is that when hazing happens, there is no real way to be there all the time to catch guys in the act. In my unit's case, we had close to 300 conscripts but only two officers and 4 NCOs. Officers can't always be watching conscripts when they have their own responsibilities to take care of as well. The victim can report it but sometimes there's no real way to prove the crime. What if an asshole junior decides to accuse every senior he doesn't like? There's also the fear of being seen as a "snitch" if you report hazing or testify in favor of the victim. Social ostracism is a factor to consider.

There are no real ways to effectively enforce hazing regulations. It's entirely dependent on someone reporting it. For this reason I think eliminating hazing from a top-down approach is unrealistic.

The professional soldiers of the ROK military sort of act as the enforcers and police when it comes to conscript discipline. Of course there are the actual military police but they tend to deal with more serious infractions. Within a unit and in the military as a whole, the officers and NCOs are the elite and ruling class so to speak. It's difficult to trust most of them when they themselves violate the same regulations they're supposed to enforce and nothing happens to them. Sometimes the guy in question happens to be too high of a rank to touch. Sometimes the officers see a report for hazing and just shrug their shoulders. How many people would snitch to the police if they regularly witness police corruption and brutality? Also, as mentioned, guys won't report hazing because they don't trust the higher-ups to deal with it effectively.

When the violators are of the "elite," the system is much more favorable to they are than they are to conscripts. Most of the time reporting hazing by an officer is pointless because nothing will happen to the guy.

Here's another facet to think about. I'm going to stress this again because it is important. There is no real clear definition of hazing. I've been told on several occasions that if the victim feels he has been violated, then that is a violation. Imagine if laws worked that in the civilian world. I'm going to press charges on you because I feel you offended me. A senior could playfully wrestle with a guy because he genuinely likes the guy and that's his way of showing affection (and we all know how touchy Korean guys are with eachother) but if the "victim" of this situation feels violated, the senior is in the wrong. Many times the junior can't speak out and candidly express his feelings to the senior because he is afraid of offending someone above him. There is no other recourse for the junior other than to go behind the senior and report it, or bottle it up and boil with resentment for the rest of his service.

At what point is it hazing and what point is it just guys being guys? At what point is it sexual harassment and at what point is it affection? Nobody knows and this just adds to the confusion.

My last reason is rather obvious and perhaps painfully idealistic. Hazing happens because people let it. If everybody just simultaneously said fuck being bullied by superiors, hazing would stop now. Nobody would be afraid of reporting it or being ostracized. I guess you could say the same about pretty much everything. My point is that the general societal attitude is a factor in why hazing is persistent, and why it has gotten better. Conscripts and young officers nowadays are from less violent backgrounds and don't see hazing as an effective tool. Hazing will probably never go away entirely, but there will be much less of it as military culture changes.

This goes against the grain of Korean thinking and the nature of military organizations, but the military needs to stop with the top-down control of conscript lives. There needs to be a building of trust, communication and true comradeship. It needs to be organic instead of being forced upon us. A bunch of strangers aren't suddenly going to be best buds because someone tells them to. This also goes against Korean culture but the obsession of showing "respect" and formality between subordinate-superior relationships has to go. Lower ranks should be able to communicate their concerns to their seniors without fear. We're guys, stop with the tiptoeing around.

On that note, stop being bitches. Let guys be guys. The military has this intense opposition to violence, which seems a bit ironic to me. One-sided hazing is one thing, but they should let guys, regardless of seniority, duke it out like men in a controlled setting. Settle their differences like warriors. Provide boxing gloves or wrestling mats or something. There'd be a lot less immature political bullshit like clique forming and picking of sides. Losing a fight isn't as bad as being treated like shit or being friendless. Some may say, "Isn't that barbaric?" Uh, we're also learning to shoot people so learning to throw and take a punch seems like a step down barbarity to me.

I don't want to sound like I'm blaming the victims here, but to some degree the victims and the public in general also need to realize this is the military. It's an organization that ultimately kills people. Soldiers go to war and people fucking die in them. It's not always going to be pretty and add to that it is a male-dominated society. And men like to fuck around, crack dirty jokes, play fight, real fight, and make fun of each other. Modern society has a tendency to coddle people and make things easy for them, and when we conscript people from this sort of society, its impossible to avoid sensitive people who get offended by any sort of teasing or criticism. There are victims of real hazing, but I wouldn't surprised if we see a lot more "victims" who report hazing just because someone made them feel bad about the shitty job they were doing. These people will undermine military discipline.

Just like bullying, I don't think hazing will ever be eradicated completely. It's human nature and no matter what you do, there will always be some assholes who abuse their position of superiority over others. But I think there are definite steps toward reducing it. Starting with regular sparring matches.

Being a Conscript

You occasionally hear about the guys who off themselves or blow away their platoon members. While you won't see as many headlines, a lot of guys desert as well. I personally would have never done anything of the sort, suicide in particular never entered my mine (deserting crossed it a few times). But I understand where these guys are coming from. I've said before that it's hard to discuss the details of military service without the feelings involved being evoked. The psychological component of conscription is a huge chunk of the experience, and one many seem to neglect.

From my previous entry, you know what conscripts in general do, but do you know what it feels like? The emotional turmoil is something that I don't think many people who haven't experienced it won't understand.

When a person is being conscripted, he is being torn away from his life. He is forced into being somewhere and being something he doesn't want to be. He's being torn away from being a student, going out with friends, and being with his family. Imagine yourself being told you have to be somewhere against your will away from your family, friends, and home? Away from what you are comfortable with? And there's nothing you can do about it. You only have a few other choices: go to prison and live with a criminal record, run and live as a fugitive, or commit suicide. Some guys maim themselves but if you hurt yourself with the intention of avoiding conscription, you could go to prison.

Never mind the political implications, the lack of pay, or even the normal hardships associated with soldiering. The simple fact that you are thrust into a completely alien environment without all the comforts you've become accustomed to and having your daily habits abruptly changed will bring about psychological discomfort. People get stressed about moving to a different country that they voluntarily chose. Being shoved in an environment without a say, against your own volition will obviously cause stress.

But of course, that's not where the stress ends. It's only where it begins. The nature of military life and Korean flavor of it only exacerbates the psychological disorder one feels.  When you first enter, the unfamiliarity of the situation is bewildering. The culture is alien; the military language they use is confusing and difficult to comprehend at first. It doesn't help that strangers are screaming at you and the looming fear of if you somehow screw up, you'll be punished in some way is always over your head.

Another thing you have to come to terms with is that you are at the bottom of the hierarchy in the beginning. You answer to everybody but your equals. There may or may not be enough of them in your unit to provide you some comfort. No one likes to be at the bottom of the barrel even if it doesn't seem like a big deal, particularly men. In the West, the socially ostracized proudly proclaim they don't care about how others see them but this is a reactive coping mechanism. We are social creatures and it though may seem stupid and superficial, but nobody enjoys being another's bitch. And a private second class is everybody's bitch.

In some ways, many actually feel more comfortable during basic training than the first months of their permanent post. In Basic, you're surrounded by your equals and due to the number of trainees, the relation between them and drill instructors is more distant and impersonal than that of junior and senior conscripts of the same unit. Plus you only see them for a few weeks. There is more physical discomfort, but as Harrow's monkeys have shown, social beings cope with physical hardships better than psychological ones. You just do what you're told and for the most part, you'll be fine. As I will elaborate later, simply following orders isn't always so cut and dry for the rest of military life.

In your permanent post, your superiors (who are initially strangers) breathe down your neck and watch your every move. They attempt to condition you to be how they see fit. You are also cramped in a room with a dozen of them. There is no privacy. No freedom. At first, you can't even go take a piss or get a drink of water without notifying someone. You get shot with icy glares from simply plopping open a book on your lap or dozing off in your free time.

You may have read my previous entry on military facilities and thought, "That's not so bad. At least they get some internet access and TV!" Not counting limited access to these amenities due to insufficient quantities, you also have to take into account many of these things are prohibited until you grow higher in rank. Even simple things like watching TV come with a catch. You can't dare turn your eyes to it without permission much less watch what you want. You can't even clip your nails without following certain protocols.

This is where the "Korean-ness" of it comes into play. The obsession with formality and putting on airs. You have to "show" discipline if you're at the bottom. Its not real discipline since nobody does it when they're the highest ranking guy in the room. This means the lowest guy constantly sits or stands at attention. He does everything for his superiors such as cleaning and organizing objects. Even the job of turning the light off and on is his job. He is constantly judged and harassed on how well he performs these simple tasks. He has to be constantly alert and aware and afraid of being reprimanded for the most insignificant of mistakes.

Being disciplined and alert is part of being a soldier but imagine doing it day in and day out from the moment you open your eyes in the morning until you go to sleep. There are times and situations that call for this such as training or combat. Being like this every single day and during one's free time is going to take its toll. Also remember my previous post and the precipitous nature of working in Korea. You'll get called up to do things at the last minute and you never know when what is going to hit you. You can never get comfortable. It's psychologically exhausting.

It's difficult to socialize at first as well. Talking about your issues for many is not present as a coping mechanism due to the political nature of military life. Word gets around, rumors are spread, feelings are hurt and some dude who outranks you takes it the wrong way. Adult males are just as prone to gossip as teenage girls. You may want to bitch to simply to get shit off your chest, but you don't want to be outed as the guy who can't "take it." Don't expect much emotional or social support from your comrades. It will be hard to simply engage in friendly chatter as well since your initial introduction to the military is one of molding you. If you're too close to a senior, it will make it difficult for him to chew you out when you inevitably fuck up. Even if you have equals in your unit, your seniors will often give you shit and make you ostracize a peer in order to pressure him to perform better. It's all silly and childish and gets tiring real quick.

Remember the tidbit about simply doing what you're told? You won't get shit if you just follow orders, right? The thing is, this is Korea and "following orders" depends on who is watching. For example, the lowest guy in my squad had to spray water on the floor before lights out because it gets really dry during the night. Simple right? No, you had to do it at the right time and in a particular way to prevent the water from getting splashed onto a senior's slippers. If you somehow "suck" at spraying water, you get chewed out. Even if you do it exactly the way you're taught, there will be another senior who was taught differently and chew you out for doing it wrong. But you can't make the excuse that so-and-so taught you the method wrong because that guy is going to get shit and resent you for blaming him. Does it sound like they're over-complicating something as simple as spraying water? They are, and they apply this methodology to everything. Oh, and there are times when your seniors really do forget to teach you or teach you wrong, and you get shit for it.

So imagine working a job like that. Forced into a contract where you get a fraction of minimum wage and away from your family and friends. You are constantly harassed by your superiors on how you dress, act and do your job. Yet nobody really teaches you or everybody has a different idea of how you're supposed to do your job. They scream at you and treat you like an unwanted dog. Everybody throws you the shit they don't feel like doing and on top of that, you're responsible for all the remedial tasks such as mopping the floor and cleaning desks (everyone's desks). Don't forget, your boss will also make you work overtime randomly with no extra pay and call you during your day off and even when you're sleeping!

Think how you would feel if you couldn't fucking clip your nails or get a glass of water when or how in the comforts of your own home without someone breathing down your neck about it. Every waking moment. Every single day for several years.

Who wouldn't be stressed? Who wouldn't feel used? Who wouldn't imagine taking a revolver to work one day, or blowing themselves away? I fantasized burning down my barracks or division HQ several times. I thought about the officers I worked with during marksmanship training.

The sensation you feel is one of suffocating. This is literally what I felt many times during my service. The physical sensation that the cardiovascular system was being restricted. I have employed breathing exercises regularly to keep my sanity intact. The symptom is aggravated when you return to base after leave. In contrast to the fleeting moments of freedom you get when you're back in the outside world, you return to base and experience those freedoms being stripped away again. I also liken the feeling to breaking up with a girl you love, except that girl is so many things. It's being able to wear the clothes you choose, eating food you want, sleeping as much you as want, lying on your own bed, washing your hands in warm water, being on the computer, going out with a friend, holding a girl, not constantly looking over your shoulder, etc. All those tiny things so many of us take for granted are torn from the heart and leave a hole. It hollows you in a similar way you feel when the love of your life leaves you. At least it did for me anyway.

I also had a supportive girlfriend at the time who was of tremendous help to me. She was the love of my life and I couldn't even see her or talk to her when I wanted. My heart was broken every time I had to return from leave because I was never sure when I would see her again.

It should be noted that being on leave is the most positive thing an active duty conscript can do other than being discharged. It is elating. It's better than money. Simply being on the subway and seeing people wearing civilian attire filled me with joy! When else would anyone feel joy at the prospect of getting on a subway in Seoul?

Being deprived of simple physical comforts might not seem like as big of a deal as the social aspects, and I don't think it has the same impact on the psyche, but it no doubt is a source of discomfort. I've seen guys grow somewhat "off" during field exercises where one is really stripped of modern comforts. Being cold, sleeping on a hard frozen ground, and without any access of hygienic facilities and spending most of the time staring at a wall in a tent will do things to the mind. I've had juniors who just went weird a week into a large-scale exercises. I tried to provide at least some socialization to keep them and myself from going nuts. Being in a barracks isn't as extreme, but I suspect it would affect the mind nonetheless. Simply being around shit you don't like all the time must not be healthy.

There is one positive side-affect from all this: It does make one appreciate how spoiled he was living in the modern world. Training in the field in particular does get one back to his more primal roots to some extent. It's something I think every modern person should seek out voluntarily and experience what they have been blessed with and what they have lost. Don't forget a big emphasis on "voluntarily."

This may not seem like a big deal to most, but the absence of boxing equipment and no access to my beloved sport was another source of torment. I love boxing and it is a big part of who I am. To not be able to watch it and practice it was just as heart-breaking as being away from the woman I love. It drove me insane to have my skills deteriorate. To have toiled to sharpen my body into a weapon and to watch it grow dull. It hurt just as any breakup. There were times I wanted to punch a guy just so I can be in a fight again. Of course I didn't do that.

One obvious source of distress for most guys is the little to no contact with women. I probably don't even have to point this out but it sucks being in your twenties and having no female contact. But because there is so little privacy, a guy can't just go off somewhere and masturbate either. That is hair-tearingly frustrating.

So my point was that I understand when guys hang themselves or desert. A little less so when they snap and shoot up the place, but I see where they're coming from. The thought of offing myself never crossed my mind during my service and it's not because I consider myself "stronger" or that these dudes were cowards. I do not sympathize with the suicidal but I don't judge these people either.

What they felt was right to them and I think it's the same with how I feel. Some will say and have said that what I'm feeling and felt is wrong. That it's not that bad or I have grown as a person from the experience so I should appreciate it. In fact, the former sentiment is not entirely false. My military experience isn't the worst experience I've had and it did remind me how good I have it as a civilian. As much as I hated my time in the Army, it would still rank below my Korean school experiences and having my heart torn out by a girl I love in my personal top ten of shitty life experiences. But it still does not justify conscription or make it any less shittier than it was.

The principle of it is unjust. That fact that I was forced into is wrong. Even if you got paid at least the minimum wage and people were nice to you, would you feel good about someone forcing you from your home and making you work at a coffee shop? Being paid 30-50 cents an hour and being surrounded by assholes would certainly make it worse!

I described being hollow. You know what else I felt? Anger. Vehement abhorrence against government oppression. The injustice of having to suffer and have my civil rights taken away for the crime of being born Korean. I contemplated over the state of the world and thought about how historical conditions of the past have led to my imprisonment decades into the future. It felt so unfair and nihilistic. I mused over libertarian activism when I was allowed to zone out. I fantasized about various ways to destroy the Defense Ministry or to wipe out the Military Manpower Administration's database.

It is likely I felt another layer of emotional outrage at my predicament due to my political leanings. My American influence probably does play a big part in how I think. Most Koreans hate it but take it as something that has to be done since it is the law and the consequences of not serving are severe. I don't know. I have never met any Korean in person who feels the way I do about conscription. What most see as an inconvenience (albeit, a huge one), I see as an injustice.

Maybe I should just see it as an inconvenience? After all, worst things could happen. People tell me that at least it's not 9 years like in North Korea. To me that's a faulty line of reasoning. I could tell a rape victim to get over it since at least she's not dead, or that she should look at the bright side of being raped only once instead of several times. Maybe learning to get over the rape will create character? Should mandatory rapes be issued to all women? We need strong women for the greater good of the nation after all. You get my point. Besides, I'm not keen on comparing myself to North Korea or rapists. We should set the bar a tad higher than that.

Let's not get it twisted. Conscription sucks balls. Korean guys like to talk big about despite how tough it was, it was the good old days. They enjoyed being with other men and the relative simplicity of military life. Offer them the chance and none of those fuckers would repeat their service. I'm in the reserves now and I'll tell you, nobody fucking enjoys the annual three days of "training" and eating Army chow again. Nobody is going to repeat two years of it.

You do get the rare cases of guys who genuinely enjoy their time in the military. These guys often end up doing it as a career. There is some simplistic beauty of military life. That is true. While you get paid shit, your housing and food is provided, and you don't have to worry about getting promoted or getting laid off. For many guys, conscription is sort of a break from the real world where they don't have to worry about their future. However, all of that is moot because it isn't voluntary. It is still an infringement on civil rights and the very same principles of democracy that distinguish us from our enemy to the north. Why are we at war again? What logic is there in protecting our freedoms by taking them away? I've said all of this before so I won't go into it again. I'll just say this: You think military service is valuable and will instill character? Nobody is stopping you from enlisting. You enjoy it, then you fucking join.

For all the disdain I've expressed, I actually respect the idea of soldiers and the ideals that the military is supposed to uphold. Every society needs warriors to protect it and they should be respected. But my service wasn't respectful. I wasn't a soldier. I was a slave. As I've expanded on previous entries, I actually looked forward to learning to be a warrior but was solely disappointed. My hands were more familiar with a broom than a rifle.

I feel another thing: disappointment in myself. Despite my political convictions, I went through with it instead of being a conscientious objector. If I truly believed in what I told myself, I should have went to prison for it. Maybe I'm weak. Maybe I don't believe in my political ideals as strongly as I thought. Maybe I'm contradicting myself.

The emotional tides settle somewhat later in service. As guys get promoted and are granted more freedoms, the suicide and desertion rate go down. One adapts somewhat to the environment and routine. Less guys breathe down your neck as they eventually leave. The frustrations of military life are still present but you learn to deal with it better. You develop methods such as sweet talking an officer to not put you on a detail or simply learning when to hide. You also get sick and tired of everything and start to not give a fuck.

The frustration still lingers but the one thing that really gets to you in the later stages of service is boredom. You're not as on alert any more but you've also exhausted the available list of movies or board games to play. You're just waiting to get discharged and the wait can drive a lot of guys nuts.

Poor saps on their day of entry. Source

Summed up: Despair. Feeling trapped and defeated. Being emasculated. Loneliness. Confusion. Anger at the system. Disappointment at yourself for giving in. A desperate longing for the outside world and freedom. Frustration. Immense boredom. Torment and anguish. These are the things one feels as a conscript.

Killing a Rat

The first time I ever killed another warm blooded creature was when I was a corporal. We had a lot of rats in the barracks so my commander got rat poisoning and told our platoon leader to flush them out. The poison was in the form of a gassy spray in a can. Some guys sprayed the rat holes and I waited with a shovel to bash in their furry little bodies as they ran out to escape being poisoned.

So they did. They were pretty fast so I missed the first one but I got his friend behind him. I smashed him with the flat end of my shovel and barely got him on the lower back. He flipped in the air before dropping to the ground. He was still breathing shallow so I smacked him again. Probably crushed his little rib-cage and all the little organs inside. There was a little bit of hesitation before my second strike but I figured it was better to put him out of his misery. I missed the other rats that followed.

It felt weird taking the life of a "fellow" mammal with my own hands. I've killed plenty of bugs, fish and some amphibians, but never a mammal. I know it's just a rat and it's not an animal I particularly care for, but I felt a slight pang of sadness knowing I took the life of another that I know can feel pain and fear. I don't know if insects and fish can in the sense that we can so I never felt bad killing them. Plus, bugs are annoying as hell and everywhere.

Don't get me wrong, I'd do it again. I am concerned about the diseases rats spread. I wouldn't want them getting in my food or sleeping bag. I'm not traumatized by the experience. I didn't turn in my sleep that night. But in a way, it was the closest thing to a human I have killed. Maybe I'm over-thinking it and feeling sad about what is basically a furry, squeaking parasite. If I'm going over in my head about the time I killed a rat, how would it feel to take a human life? It might be weird to make that connection or to even think about what it feels like to kill a person, but I think that is the problem with our society and military. I am and was a soldier. If shit hits the fan, I am handed a weapon and told to kill. As are hundreds and thousands of other Korean men. It might be a very distant possibility (I hope an impossibility), but that is the whole purpose of conscription. I am a potential killer. A potential taker of human life.

I tell myself I would kill another man in a situation where it is justified (war, self-defense). I would destroy another to protect the people I love if it's the only option available. Would I hesitate to pull the trigger at a North Korean soldier? Would I wait a split second to throw a fatal strike at a rapist assaulting my wife? How would I feel about it afterwards? These may be silly questions to ask oneself but I find it a necessary part of our social discourse. Bad things happen in the world and we are a nation still technically at war. The psychological well-being of our troops and citizens are just as important as the effectiveness of our weapons. Nobody discussed this kind of stuff with me during my service or at any point in my life. Even as they trained me to shoot live ammo at targets shaped like human beings.

It's probably too much philosophizing over a rodent but I'm glad I think about this though. I'm glad I'm not a psychopath who relishes in taking another life and seeing it writhe painfully before me as I land the final blow. Perhaps it means I don't go through life monotonously and nonchalantly, and I think about even seemingly inconsequential acts like killing a rat.

General Conscript Life

What is conscript life like? What do conscripts do all day? This is one of the most common questions I get regarding military service from foreigners I meet.

What's it like? What are the the long hours, the criminally low pay, the idiotic superiors, the poor living conditions, the ridiculous Korean obsession with formality, and the absence of privacy and autonomy like? To quote Jesse Pinkman, it was totally Kafkaesque, yo. Like, majorly.

To save them my long-winded rants on Korea's conscription policy and the general asininity of military life, I just tell them "it sucks." Because it does. It sucks fucking donkey balls. It's difficult for me to talk about my service without expressing my personal hatred for it. The daily routine of military life is infected by all the narrow-minded absurdity that invariably accompanies. It was hard to go through a day on base without being reminded of how much and why I hate being there.

What We Do All Day
If you disregard the aforementioned conditions and focus purely on the activities of day to day life, conscript life isn't too different from most people of the civilian world. I should clarify that my life wasn't all that different. What one actually does and what kind of conditions one lives in heavily depends on the unit and post.

My unit's daily routine when like this:

• Wake up at 0600
• Morning roll call
• Warm up using the silly ROK military warm up routine
• Run 2km
• Rest/shower/eat breakfast
• Go to work (assigned MOS) at 0900
• Lunch at round 12 and rest until 1300
• Work until 1600
• Afternoon PT (4-6km run followed by sit ups and push ups)
• Supper at around 1730 to 1900 and freetime
• Cleaning at 2030
• Evening roll call and mandatory TV news viewing at 2100  
• Lights out at 2200

Look how tough and hardcore military warm-ups are!

That's the general outline of a day but there's a lot of variation depending on the unit, how the commander feels, and other circumstances. For example, we would skip running during the winter and instead shovel snow. Sometimes they wouldn't let us during after meals if there was a lot of work. On special occasions, like the during the World Cup, they would let us stay up late and watch the games. On weekends and holidays, we wake up at 0700, there is no morning run, and they let us rest. Unless there was work to be done. Which usually there was.

As anybody working in Korea knows, no plan is ever followed and things are changed last-minute constantly. Conscripts are always on guard for extra duty and overtime work during their free time. Having a phone call to your girlfriend or a movie viewing interrupted by some rock picking or leaf sweeping detail is common. An officer would suddenly remember he has to prepare for a briefing the next morning an he would make you help him while everybody else is sleeping. Free time isn't always free time in the military

That also applies to work and PT, however. Some guys will make excuses to not run during PT or go to the Medical Corps during work hours. Work doesn't always mean constant work as there are lazy days as well as busy ones. As is Korean tradition, its good form to look busy, but there were a lot of times where I wasn't. I pretended to work but messed around when nobody was looking. Officers straight up took naps or watched TV when nobody higher than them was around.

What kind of work one does depends on the MOS you're assigned. I was at first in an administrative position where I typed away on a computer and made coffee. It's basically an office job. Guys in band spent their days practicing playing their instruments while cooks cooked, and security platoon guys stood on guard for hours a day. There are more special types of occupations such as being in charge of the tennis court for officers, and basically take care of the tennis court. Some jobs are comfier and easier than others. Many envy the position I had and some suspect I used my family's military connections to get it. I actually wanted to be in a tougher combat unit but I had little choice to where I was placed. So it goes.

I complain about work and how abundant and inconsistent it can be, however, having free time in the military can also be extremely boring. Nobody is going to choose picking up rocks over sitting idly but the boredom of military life can get to you. I read a lot of books, some guys play board games, most watch TV, a few work out. All of that can get old due to the lack of variety. You can only watch so many TV shows or read so many books. I've read a lot of books and the act of reading kind of got tedious after awhile. Guys played a lot of soccer and I could've spent a lot of time working out if there were boxing equipment available. But of course there wasn't. Getting visits from family members and friends helps during the weekend.

Engaging in certain activities during your free time also become problematic due to the sudden nature work. You might start up a movie only to get called up for some shitty detail ten minutes in. You might want to go for an hour long run but be discouraged to go because your unit might need you when they get called in to look for a general's dog. Then when you return from your jog, the rest of your unit will resent you for not participating in their struggle even though you had no idea something like that would happen. Shit like that will make your free time feel not free at all.

Facilities
I guess many civilians are curious of how good the facilities are on military bases and most assume it to be shitty. It is shitty compared to the modern civilian world but I was somewhat surprised when the general cleanliness and availability of "modern" comforts. This also depends a lot on the unit. Some units have newer buildings for their barracks and better facilities. Location also has a lot to do with it. A guy stationed on a tiny island somewhere can't expect to have the same comforts as a guy stationed in downtown Seoul. The guys stationed at the DMZ apparently have to wait for regular PX trucks to visit while guys like me visited the PX inside the building whenever we wanted.

My barracks had actual toilet seats in the bathrooms. A large, open shower room with hot water during most of the winter. Albeit there weren't sufficient enough numbers of them, we had dryers and washing machines. A TV and with satellite in every room. Public phones in and around the building. Even a "PC bang" which are called Cyber Knowledge Information Rooms (사이버지식정보방) with really crappy PCs which charged like 400won an hour, with a quarter of that time spent waiting for the computer to load.

So I wasn't completely cut off from the outside world. I was exposed to the changes in pop culture and technology. I could facebook my friends and call my family. Although it was frowned upon but not illegal, some guys brought their Playstations from home to play video games. Playing Call of Duty sure made the time fly during weekends.

Most barracks are designed like Korean schools (or more likely Korean schools are designed like military barracks) with the building in front of a large sandy field that is used for roll call and soccer. Usually one building is used by one unit, but sometimes smaller units share a barracks. My unit used the second floor while the smaller Recon unit used the first. Most units also have a mess hall in a separate building.

Typical looking barracks. Source: http://eldlan.egloos.com/4968408

Unlike in the U.S. military where soldiers share a room with one or two roommates, Korean conscripts share one with their entire squad or even platoon. In my case, I was in a room with a dozen other guys, which isn't too bad. Some have 20 or more in one room. We didn't have beds, but a platform which we slept on side by side. There was a locker for each soldier. That's his personal space which he could decorate to some extent with picture of his girlfriend or favorite celebrities. I had a big picture of Manny Pacquiao once. People thought I was weird because I was the only without pics of hot chicks. The newer buildings have actual beds and accommodate fewer soldiers per room.

Typical room although mine was smaller with fewer people. Source: http://www.wikitree.co.kr

 The new room design. Beds! Source: http://blog.daum.net/mma9090/1031

During lights out, we slept on a thin "mattress" that was really a shitty green futon. We are issued one light summer blanket that was camouflaged, a thicker wool blanket that's green, and a sleeping bag that was also green. I got sick of everything being of this really dull green. Not every terrain in Korea is green so I don't know why everything we wear and use is. Anyway, the sleeping bag is the warmed thing so most guys bundle themselves up in it during the winter even indoors.

The food was okay. Not as horrible as I anticipated going in. It was tolerable and occasionally, even good. However, it was still cafeteria food and I got sick of it after two years of it. I honestly didn't want to even look at kimchi for a few weeks after my discharge. I made sure I had plenty of western food with cheese during my leave and after my discharge. An issue I had with the food was that the guys making the food weren't very good at it most of the time and the only method of seasoning they used (probably due to lack of resources and options) was to put a shit ton of salt, garlic, chili pepper, or a combination of all three. So the food a lot of time tasted too salty, garlicky, or spicy. My main problem, however, was the lack of fresh vegetable and fruit. This is probably due to the fear of food going bad and people getting sick, but the lack of fresh, raw produce probably wasn't the best thing for my health. I did get plenty of salty, overcooked cabbage though! As for the mess hall itself, it wasn't well heated or air-conditioned, but it did what it had to do. Despite the frequent rat sightings, nobody that I know of got sick of food poisoning.

As mentioned before, we had a PX inside the building with all sorts of fattening snacks at military discount prices. I saw my military service as a chance to get rid of my soda addiction but that did not turn out as I have hoped. Some guys actually get fat during their service due to the lack of consistent activity and availability of cheap junk food. It was common to see guys take out their stress on food.

Limited exercise facilities were also available. My unit had a tiny weight room and a really bumpy basketball court along with the sandy soccer field. Some bigger units have ping pong tables. We also had a singing room that charged by the song. Korean soldiers love to sing high-pitched ballads there. I forgot to mention this before, but heating and air conditioning is almost non-existent in conscript living quarters. I say almost because some rooms had a tiny electric heaters for an entire platoon. Mine had none. I was cold during the winter. We had fans during the summer though.

My working environment was much better. While I wasn't happy being a desk-jockey and a coffee slave for the officers, I did appreciate that because I worked with spoiled officers, I had access to better facilities. The office had AC and heating. While some guys were out digging trenches in the sun, I was inside and drinking cold water from a water filter while sitting at a desk. I also could have a lot of coffee should I wanted to. Koreans fucking love that instant coffee mix.

I went in the Army thinking I was going to be cut off entirely from the outside world and all forms of modern comforts. I expected to live like an animal for two years. I was pleasantly surprised that this wasn't entirely the case. It seems to be getting slowly better but the living conditions of ROK soldiers are still severely lacking compared to their American counterparts.

The Military Doesn't Get Respect

I met an American girl a few days ago who shared her experiences in the United States military. She mostly complained about the poor quality and character of many of the "elite" in the military. According to her, career soldiers don't come from very well educated backgrounds and grow up with a narrow mentality and limited exposure to the rest of the world. Many of them join the military and apply their narrow view of the world into their organization. Basically, her experience in the military sucked because of the stupidity she was exposed to.

This has been pretty much the same experience I have had during my military service. Many members of the officer and NCO corps of the ROK military are there not because of a "warrior's calling," but there is nothing else for them to do in the civilian world. Applying for the military is easy and barring physical deformities or a criminal record, anybody can become a professional soldier, although maintaining a long career is a different story. You need a job? Join the military. They'll take anybody who can hold a gun.

As a result, most of the professional soldiers I've met were extremely ignorant, bigoted, and trashy. They were basically Korean versions of white trash back in the States. Many of them were thugs in uniform. I don't fault them for their ignorance, but I don't trust them to act professionally and responsibly. If you have read my other entries, you'll know many of these people abuse their position of power and treat their subordinates like crap. They violate their own rules and play petty office politics. This is the image that the average Korean conscript has of professional soldiers. The average Korean conscript is also the average male Korean citizen.

Korean officers often compare themselves to their American counterparts and envy the respect and admiration American soldiers receive from American citizens. The Koreans whine about the little respect the receive from their citizens, and it is true; the average Korean doesn't think very highly of soldiers. This has a lot to do with Korea's history of oppressive military regimes, but it also has to do with how the average Korean is treated when he is in the military. Before bitching and moaning about how little respect they get from the people, the "professionals" in the ROK military need to remember that the conscripts they shit on are going to be tax-payers and voters when they're discharged. Before bitching about how ungrateful civilians are of their service, they should be grateful of our involuntary service to them.